April Fools Rules (Alt)
by Batdude365
Summary: My take on the first April Fools episode of this show. Enjoy!


_What if Ronnie Anne wasn't in cahoots with Luan at all, and was completely unaware of what would happen as she went to the Loud House on April Fools Day?_

 _Here's the answer._

* * *

 **Lincoln:** [to Clyde on a walkie-talkie] Nothing's gonna happen this year. I've got an April Fool-proof plan.

[Just then, Lincoln's phone rings.]

 **Lincoln:** Just a minute, Clyde, Ronnie Anne just texted me. [checks his phone] She said she's coming over tomorrow with a present for me. [gasps] She can't come over tomorrow! She'll-

 **Clyde:** Wait! What if it's one of Luan's tricks? Besides, why would Ronnie want to come and visit tomorrow, of all days?

 **Lincoln:** [gasps in realization] By _God_ , you're right! I was almost going to sacrifice myself for her sake. Luan thinks she's _so_ clever, but I'm the only one she's not getting the drop on this year. Welp, see ya later, bud. [turns off his walkie-talkie]

[Cut to later that day, when multiple instances of feminine exclamations and traps going off are heard from Lincoln's room. He was about to go outside to see what was going on, but then he thought about it more.]

 **Lincoln:** Wait a minute...

[A thought bubble appears above Lincoln, where Luan put a tape recorder/jack in the box in the middle of the hallway and started it. It then started playing the "chaos" happening right now]

 **Headcanon Luan:** That gullible little brother of mine will be running right over, and then WHAMMO! Boxing glove to the face! [cackles maniacally]

[Lincoln pops the thought bubble shortly afterwards.]

 **Lincoln:** Heh. Nice try, Luan. But there's nothing in this world that'll get me to go beyond this mahogany-barricaded door, until tomorrow. [goes back to his bed to resume playing video games]

[Cut to the very next day, when Lincoln's sleeping on the living room couch _(with his eyes wide open)._ Suddenly, there's loud banging coming from the front door.]

 **Lincoln:** [wakes up and goes towards the front door] Hmm, who could that be?

[He opens the door to find a fuming, furious Ronnie Anne. She's covered in flypaper, mouse traps, slices of cream pie, raccoon bite and scratch marks, flour, dust, grease, and other stuff from Luan's pranks from yesterday.]

 **Ronnie Anne:** [growls; livid] I'M GONNA RIP YOUR [bleep]IN' HEAD OFF YOUR SHOULDERS AND SQUASH IT LIKE A WATERMELON!

[Naturally, Lincoln slowly and calmly closes the door, and locks it. Then, he proceeds to dash all the way up to his room.]

 **Lori:** [bumps into Lincoln] What's the rush, Lincoln?

 **Lincoln:** Tell Ronnie I moved out of state! [sprints to his door]

[Lori stands confused in the hallway, as she hears locking and hammering from Lincoln's room. She proceeds to go downstairs and open the front door to see Ronnie Anne.]

 **Ronnie Anne:** Alright, where is he, Phone-O?!

 **Lori:** What is all of this about?

 **Ronnie Anne:** Lame-o decided to nail me with endless pranks the whole time I was here yesterday!

[In realization, Lori figures out Ronnie doesn't know who the real culprit behind the pranks was.]

 **Lori:** [puts a hand on Ronnie's shoulder] Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie. This was all just a _huge_ misunderstanding. It wasn't Lincoln who set up all those pranks. In fact, he spent all of yesterday in his room. Luan was actually the one who was responsible. So, it's really _her_ you should be going after.

[Cut back to Lincoln, who's toting a football helmet, and holding a baseball bat whilst quivering in the far corner of his bed.]

 **Lori:** [knocks on the door] Lincoln, you can come out now. There's nothing to be afraid of out here.

[Lincoln anxiously inches his way to the door, takes off all the mahogany, and shakily opens the door to see Lori.]

 **Lincoln:** [nervously] Yeah?

 **Lori:** Ronnie Anne isn't mad at you anymore. But, it didn't exactly end very well for Luan.

[She then shows Lincoln Ronnie Anne throwing a rhubarb pie into a bruised and battered Luan's face.]

 **Ronnie Anne:** Let this be a lesson to think before you prank any of the Santiagos again! [sees Lincoln] Yeah... sorry about the whole "head ripping thing" from earlier. But I hope we can just set this behind us.

 **Lincoln:** Mmm... Alright.

[Ronnie Anne pulls out a square, gift-wrapped box from behind her back.]

 **Ronnie Anne:** I _was_ originally gonna trash this, but we can split this apple pie and get a milkshake.

[The "couple" proceed to leave the house to do just that.]

 **Luan:** [coughs; muffled] Can someone please call the ambulance?

 **Lori:** Not interested. [starts to go down the stairs]

 **Luan:** Please, Lori! Don't leave me!

 **Lori:** [walks back up; takes the pie tray off of Luan's face] April Fools!

 **THE END**


End file.
